The Day
I managed to stay in bed til midday, despite having a dream that I forgot what day it was and missed half the semi, then got up and had a shower. I texted my mate Becki saying “Tell Graham (my lecturer) I’m still ill”, to which she replied “will u b ok for 2nite” and I informed her “yeh, it’s just a lie, I’m not going to lectures on Eurovision day!”. With my drinking buddy Abbey in lectures until 4, and Charlotte revising for exams, I sat in my room and began to practice the lyrics to the semi songs in order – I was so out of breath after Andorra and Belarus – the lyrics are far too fast!! I had got up to Ukraine when there was a knock on my door. It was Abbey, even though it was only half 2, asking me when I was going to start drinking. The answer was obvious, so we headed to the Social Bar, and got a pint. I rang Charlotte and she arrived when we had finished our first pint, and joined in the drinking. All of Abbey’s Occupational Therapy friends were there cos they’d all just handed in their last essay. These included a broad cockney, a pregnant woman, and a lesbian who I already knew called Donna, with her post-op transsexual girlfriend Nina. (Well we decided she must be cos she looks like a man with a wig, and has a scar running up her stomach. Lovely lady though). We (Abbey, Charlotte and me) had 3 pints by 5 o’clock, when we went to get our tea. Much to my delight it was carrot day (carrots are my favourite food) and I had garlic slices with cheese too. I was already feeling quite tipsy by the end of dinner, which was not a good sign so early on, so when we returned to the bar, I tried to slow my drinking slightly. It didn’t really work.
Just before 7 I spotted ‘The American Girl’ (as I affectionately call her), and made sure she was coming to watch Eurovision that night. She was, good girl. My friend Sarah asked me why I wasn’t wearing my Eurovision belt, and set me into a mad panic. I checked the time, downed half my pint and legged it back to my room to grab the belt. I ran back, and just as I got back to the bar, the bar manager tried to lock me out of the bar, probably in anticipation of what was to come, but failed – nothing could keep me from Eurovision. I resumed my drinking, now fully equipped with belt, speeding up slightly cos I was too sober again, and Donna painted the Finland flag on my face with my facepaints. Even though no-one knew why, Abbey, Charlotte, and Keira all followed suit and painted smaller Finland flags on both cheeks and their forehead, and Donna plumped for the full-face flag too.
The foreigners arrived – Mario (Spanish), Karen & another girl (both from Belgium), a woman from Sweden, and another from Netherlands. Karen and the other Belgian girl (from Antwerp, in fact she said Kate Ryan was from her village) had Belgian flags on each cheek, and poorly constructed Belgium flags out of stapled together pieces of felt. Karen had a big sheet of paper with “Belgium Je T’adore Go Kate!” on. Upset that my Finnish friend Essi was not there (even though she hates Lordi and said she’d be supporting Sweden) to see my Finland flag face, I took Mario’s hall keys and tried to find her, finding only my other Spanish friend Maria, who was working instead of supporting Andorra with me and Mario. I returned to find Anne (Germany) and Essi were now in the bar. I took up a seat with the foreigners in front of the big screen and yelled at the barman to turn it up, after missing the medley of Eurosongs at the start of the semi.
Despite my earlier fears, I was very drunk by the beginning of Armenia’s performance, and got worse and worse as the show began. I ignored protests from Karen of Belgium and the woman of Sweden to stop singing along (although I think I did keep quiet during Carola for her), and happily sung along as best I could to all of the songs. When Belgium came on everyone gave a great reception, and I took Karen’s banner and waved it about while dancing (badly probably). I remember that everyone hated Albania “this is boring”, and shouting a bit too loud before Cyprus came on “this song’s crap but she’s got big tits”. Monaco went down well – my Scottish mate Mark said “I was debating whether to come or not – you should’ve told me there were fit girls!” By the time Macedonia came on, I was so drunk that I couldn’t sing “ninanajna”, and instead was singing “dance with me neneneneneneeena, sing me with me neneneneneneeena”, while telling poor Karen “I know they’re the wrong words but I can’t sing them right” – but I didn’t give up trying. At some stage, probably near Belgium, Janine (the girl with the shaved head who always sits in the corner talking to herself) shouted at me “other people want to hear the songs too you know”, but being too trashed to care, I just smiled and carried on. Apparently this tirade of Janine’s went on for some time, and she was really angry (not that I noticed) but my mate Abbey explained to her how much I love Eurovision and it was only being shown because of / for me. She accepted that and didn’t hit me.
At some point Keira and Charlotte got a shot of something, and I asked for “what they just got”, learning it was Pernot and Sambucca. I then have vague recollections of watching the following countries, and shouting the following comments: Netherlands “crap song but they’re pretty”, Portugal and Sweden “CRAP!!!”, Estonia “the songs good but she looks like a camel”, and I also remember that Lithuania went down well in the bar, “what’s that bald guy doing just standing there?” asked Mark, Charlotte who had sat through some videos of some songs told him “just wait and see”. Finland went down great too, and Keira decided Tina Karol was better looking that Severine and Elena, though I pointed out sometimes she has a mouth like a Tweenie. Also Keira liked the lead singer of LT United, and she opted for a black dancer and Charlotte the white one in another song (can’t remember which though – Monaco maybe?).
I voted once for Andorra and twice for Finland (without making a single mistake – go me!) and watched the envelopes, cheering every one opened even if I couldn’t read or hear who it was. By the end of the envelopes all I knew was Sweden and Finland had qualified (apparently I was dancing round in circles in front of the big screen after Finland got through), and Belgium and Andorra hadn’t, Belgium much to everyone’s dismay because it had been received so well in the bar. After that I don’t remember a thing.
The Aftermath
I remember throwing up a tiny bit in my sink when I got home (I always throw up on carrot day! :( ), then I slept through til 7 the next morning. I woke up and got a drink of water then crawled back to bed, my head pounding like Treble were playing it. I saw a message on my whiteboard reading “You are worse than shit!!! Your fucking twat”, and wondered how many weeks that had been there without me noticing it, and when Mario had been in my room to write it. I also checked teletext, which only told me that Belgium hadn’t qualified, but Finland, Sweden, Russia, Bosnia-Herzegovina and Ireland had. I repeated the crawl to the sink several times throughout the day, before finally getting up at about half 3. I had a shower, then watched Countdown and up until the first advert break of ‘Deal or No Deal’ in my underwear, before getting changed and going to the computer room to see who had qualified. Then I went to tea with Charlotte, both of us still drunk from the night before, wondering why the songs that were playing in the canteen seemed to be lasting for 20 minutes. Abbey didn’t come to dinner as she had been throwing up all day, and I learnt that Charlotte had thrown up on Thursday night too, something she hadn’t done after a night of drinking for over 4 years. Charlotte was pleased to know Lithuania had made it through, and revealed she had been singing it with Keira last night.
The bits I can’t remember but later discovered
I learnt from Maria that Mario had had to take me home, before 11 o’clock, and that had been when he had written the message. Julie, my Irish friend, rang and asked if I was going to apologise for “what you did last night”. I asked her what I had done – not remembering even seeing her, and she said “you tried to kiss me”. Whoops I thought, really shouldn’t have done that, that’s a bit dodgy, until she added “on my neck”, at which I had to stifle a giggle. I had kissed lots of girls on the cheeks last night, just glad Julie is the only drama queen I know.
Also, I learnt that after I had been taken home (we’d been early enough to catch the lift – which probably saved Mario’s back from breaking!) I had thrown up a lot more than I remembered and that the sink made me think. Abbey was taken home by the security guard, cos Scouser Steve had hidden her keys, so the guard helped her up the stairs to let her in, then Steve returned and gave her her keys back – she wasn’t best pleased! Charlotte had remained in the bar longer than us 2, but by the end of the night she was clearly feeling the effects of the alcohol too, and also got half-carried home.
The night is still very patchy for me even now, but some photos taken by Mario show that I clearly terrorised the Finnish girl Essi, and neither me nor Charlotte remember kissing, but as they say the camera doesn’t lie. Better not tell her boyfriend, he’s hard.
Hope you enjoyed reading about my night as much as I enjoyed writing it, and if you were one of the people unfortunate enough to be there that night, I can only sincerely apologise for my singing, dancing, drunken antics and for persuading the barman to show the semi in the first place.
Enjoy the rest of the photos: (Click to see bigger version)     
1) Mario and Me // 2) Karen and Me // 3) Belgium and Netherlands girls // 4) Karen, Me and Donna // 5) Charlotte, Me and Keira
    
6) Me, Essi and Mario ///////////// 7) Mario //////////// 8) Karen and Me ////////// 9) Mario //////////// 10) Essi and Anne
    
11) Me and Charlotte // 12) Me sitting on Essi // 13) Me supporting Russia and Finland // 14) Essi // 15) Mimi and Mario |
